Words Everywhere,
All At Once.
If it is written, have it written well.
Exceptional Wordy Girl freelance writing.
Long content
Newsletters, blogs, articles and storytelling.
Copywriting
Website words, snack content, social media, product descriptions and persuasive writing.
Written Perfection In All The Right Places.
-
Website Copywriting
The trick is to weave a fluid, skim-friendly narrative across your site, delivering the right words to the right people at the right time. Here are a few principles:
Use persuasive language without resorting to lazy industry jargon. Write for your target audience in your brand’s tone of voice. Remember that boring waffle doesn't convert.
Sincerity, honesty and fun are allowed. Compulsory, even.
-
Product & Service Descriptions
Stuffed with SEO magic, I'll conjure up sharp descriptions that get to the point in your tone of voice. Jargon-free plain English rammed with personality usually does the job.
Remember that whenever you see the words, "We provide end-to-end solutions", somewhere, a copywriter loses the will to get out of bed.
-
Blogs & Newsletters
Riveting long content does more than lift your search engine ranking or boost your open rate: it places you as an authority in your niche. You need this stuff!
But you're busy, right? If content creation is not your thing, and AI lacks the lived experience to weave a decent narrative, I'm all over it.
I even take care of research, keywords, proof-checked facts and snazzy headlines.
-
Stuffy Documents, Reimagined
T&Cs, Employment Handbooks, Business Plans, Booking Policies, Contracts
You're projecting well on all touchpoints. Then, bam! 'Forthwith' appears in one of your policies. It's alienating and probably not ‘you’.
You can rock that boat without breaking the law (or 'the law'). Even the dreariest documents should be written with flair.
Less yawn and more you.
-
Presentations & Tutorials
Rhythm, great visuals, storytelling and cleverly placed 'aha' moments will supercharge your presentations. Forget endless bullet points (yawn). You need heat seeking missiles.
Google and Powerpoint, your deck templates are dull by design, which makes for dull presentations.
I’ll make you look great. My belligerent dedication and expertise will caffeinate your audience right through to your grand finale.
Your Business Is Remarkable.
Let’s Get That Across.
The topiary chicken and copywriting that sells.
Brimming with confidence because I had pruned a scruffy garden bush into a giant topiary chicken, I decided to skip the hairdresser and cut my kid's hair.
In just a few snips, I went from "How hard can this be?" to "Darling, please stop crying. This was all the rage in medieval times".
My point? Sometimes we need to call in an expert.
If your copy isn't converting to sales, sign-ups or click-throughs, drop me a line.
The long, long silverback eulogy.
We were fidgeting. The minister was giving a respectful-but-forgetful eulogy when – 6 minutes in – he casually mentioned Harambe, the gorilla who saved a child that had toppled into the gorilla pen at Cincinnati Zoo. Whoa! We weren't expecting Harambe. As the minister casually rested one elbow on the lectern, he knew he had the congregation gripped.
He then wove a tenuous comparison between Harambe, the Good Samaritan, and our gorgeous, big-hearted late friend. Harambe was the only one shot with a tranquilliser dart, but let's not get picky about details. It was a memorable eulogy.
Holding people's attention is critical.
It doesn't matter whether it's a product description, a blog post, or whether you're educating or selling; people will feel positive about your business if they care enough to read your content. It should 'speak' to them and keep them wide awake.
That's the dream, right?
Remember—every word matters because busy people ain't got time for boring waffle and industry jargon.
Killer pitch decks and a weeping investor.
Years ago, me and my co-founder were doing the rounds on the London investment circuit, raising money for our tech startup. Long story short, we were with an investor. As if thinking aloud, he wistfully murmured, "Your business plan is… stunning. The numbers stack up, but it's so…inspiring… and looks incredible. Well done."
In my memory, he was practically welling up. I pitied him for the thousands of dishwater dull plans and decks he'd had to read, but that faded when I remembered he drove a Bentley Continental and had a swimming pool in each of his homes. Anyhooo, moving on…
Wakey, wakey, rise and shine.
There’s utter joy in transforming something designed to make you nod off into the equivalent of mainlining caffeine.
Microsoft and Google Slides have done a fine job of making these things dull by design and it takes a creator and storyteller like me to upend that.
I’m dying for you to ask me about AI.
AI is a tin man, devoid of heart and human lived experience. You can't expect it to communicate about your business with genuine feeling.
Sure, AI can save you precious hours by churning out sterile blogs titled 'The 10 Greatest Things About [my product]'. It’ll even generate the idea for you in mere seconds.
But AI can't burrow into the uniquely human reason you decided to jack in your secure job to manufacture sustainable Wigs for Pigs. An exponentially growing petri dish of code lacks the human passion for doing something quite so...bonkers.
I can. I'll tap into what makes you tick, writing about Wigs for Pigs with the utter soul your beautiful business deserves.